Percy Jackson's Greek Gods Quotes
So Aphrodite married Hephaestus and the celebrity ship Aphrophaestus completely dominated Olympian tabloid news for like a thousand years. Did they live happily ever after? HAHAHAHAHA. No.
He was also the god of (take a deep breath) commerce, languages, thievery, cheeseburgers, trickery, eloquent speaking, feasts, cheeseburgers, hospitality, guard dogs, birds of omen, gymnastics, athletic competitions, cheeseburgers, cheeseburgers and telling fortunes with dice. Okay, I just tossed in the cheeseburgers to see if you were paying attention. Also, I’m hungry.
I mean, five gods in one stomach—dang. That's enough for doubles tennis, including a ref. They'd been down there so long, they were probably hoping Kronos would swallow down a deck of cards or a Monopoly game.
You're already married!" Hera protested. "To me!"
"Curses!" said Zeus. "Er, I mean, of course, dear.
If I ever become a king, I’m totally going to ask him for an army of giant golden acid-spitting llamas. Okay, sorry. I got distracted again.
My favorite son!" Gaea cried. "You are awesome! I knew I could count on you, uh... which one are you again?.
Kronos became the Titan of time. He couldn’t pop around the time stream like Doctor Who or anything, but he could occasionally make time slow down or speed up. Whenever you’re in an incredibly boring lecture that seems to take forever, blame Kronos. Or when your weekend is way too short, that’s Kronos’s fault, too.
G.I. Joe boxers!’ Apollo screamed. ‘OH—oh, I can’t even... HAHAHAHAHA!’ ‘Aphrodite,’ Athena giggled. ‘You look simply lovely.’ The gods couldn't stop laughing. Soon they were rolling on the floor, wiping tears from their eyes, taking photos with their phones to post on Tumblr.
Behold, my children!" she said. "The instrument of my revenge. I will call it a scythe!"
The Titans muttered among themselves: What is that for? Why is it curved? How do you spell scythe?.
Theophane gave birth to a magical ram named Krysomallos, who for some reason had wool made of gold. Eventually, Krysomallos would be skinned for his fleece, which became known as the Golden Fleece, which means I am related to a sheepskin rug.
Me, I’m late to meet my girlfriend. Annabeth is going to kill me.
Hope you enjoyed the stories. Stay safe out there, demigods.
Peace from Manhattan,
Percy Jackson.
Oh, that’s nice. All fourteen of my children are the captains of their teams, and they make straight A’s and can play the violin.
Gaea snarled in frustration. "Don't be cowards! It's very simple. You take this sharp pointy blade and you cut your dad into small pieces so he can't bother us again. Whichever of you does this will be the ruler of the universe! Also, I will make you those cookies you used to like, with the sprinkles.
Maybe the lesson is: Know when to brag and when to keep your mouth shut. Or: Sometimes life isn’t fair, even if you are as gifted as Athena. Or maybe: Don’t give away free tapestries.
His big claim to fame was that the Golden Fleece—that magical sheepskin rug I'm related to—ended up in his kingdom, which made the place immune to disease, invasion, stock-market crashes, visits from Justin Bieber and pretty much any other natural disaster.
WE ARE THE KOURETES!" one shouted at the top of his lungs "WE WILL HELP!"
"Thank you," Rhea said, "Do you have to speak so loudly?"
"THIS IS MY INSIDE VOICE!" the warrior yelled.
I don't know if you've ever had a crush on somebody that bad, but Hades became obsessed. He kept sketches of Persephone in his pocket. He carved her name on his obsidian table with a knife-which took a lot of work. He dreamed about her and had imaginary conversations with her where he admitted his love and she confessed that she had always had a thing for creepy older guys who lived in caves full of dead people.
Helios thought he looked pretty hot, and he had an annoying habit of calling the sun his "chick magnet.
So, you invite a wild rabbit living in Italy to a party on the island of Crete. What’s it supposed to do, swim there? Its little tux would get wet.
His stomach tried to propel itself out of his throat. His mouth hinged open all by itself—the better to upchuck you with, my dear—and shot out five gods, a very slimy rock, quite a lot of nectar, some biscuits, and a chariot license plate. (No, I don't know how all that got in there.).
Your father is a complete___!" I don’t know what she called him, but I have a feeling that's when the first cuss were invented.
What's for dinner, Dad?" Pelops asked.
Tantalus had never liked his son. I don't know why. Maybe Tantalus knew the kid would take over his kingdom someday. Greek kings were always paranoid about stuff like that. Anyway, Tantalus gave his son an evil smile and pulled out a butcher's knife. "Funny you should ask.
Psst"he called.
The Cyclops lowered his hammer. He turned towards Zeus, but his one big eye had been staring into the flames so long that he couldn't see who was talking.
"I am not Psst"The Cyclops said " I am Brontes"
Oh boy, Zeus thought. This may take a while.
When he concentrated, a miniature tornado swirled around its three points, getting faster and larger the more he focused. When he planted the spear on the ground, the floor of the pit began to shake and crak.
"Best weapon,"he announced." Right here."
Brontes tossed them a third item. Hades caught this one-a gleaming bronze war helmet decorated with scenes of death and destruction.
"You get weapons" Hades grumbled. "i get a hat.
The Titans looked on humans the way we might look on gerbils. Some Titans thought humans were kind of cute, though they died awfully quick and didn't serve any purpose. Other Titans thought they were repulsive rodents. Some Titans didn't pay them any attention at all. As for the humans, they mostly just cowered in their caves and scurried around trying not to get stepped on.
I CANNOT ALLOW THIS CITY TO EXIST, Zeus rumbled. I MUST MAKE YOU AN EXAMPLE SO THAT THIS NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN. LIGHTNING INCOMING IN FIVE, FOUR, THREE...
Leto had two beautiful babies—a boy named Apollo and a girl named Artemis. They were born on the seventh day of the seventh month,.
Eventually, Krysomallos would be skinned for his fleece, which became known as the Golden Fleece, which means I am related to a sheepskin rug.
This is why you don't want to think too hard about who you're related to in the Greek myths. It'll drive you crazy.
Now, kids…wine is alcohol. That’s a drink for grown-ups.
Gee, Mr. Percy Jackson, you say, can’t we have some wine?
No, no, kids. Wine is dangerous. I don’t want any of you to drink alcohol until you’re at least thirty-five years old. Even then, you should get a doctor’s note and your parents’ permission, drink responsibly (like one swig a month), and never operate heavy machinery while under the influence!
Okay…I think that covers my legal bases. On with the story.